The Endo Journey
Kia Lanae Coleman
I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was the summer of 2012 and my mother and I went on a trip to NYC with members of our family church. Things were going well and then it all changed. Severe menstrual cramps hit, and it was a hot, crazy, painful, nauseated mess with pain wreaking havoc in my back, stomach, and pelvic area. We were on our way to Harlem via our bus and I remember trying to hide my tears, embarrassment, etc. My mother tried to help me all the while praying and looking for pain pills, sprite, snacks… others joined in. It took some time, but relief eventually kicked in and I was able to somewhat enjoy the rest of the trip.
You see, a month or so prior (still in 2012) I had decided to give myself a break from birth control pills. I had been on them for over a decade as they were originally prescribed to help with the pain (dysmenorrhea) and to regulate my cycle… But I was getting older and had read about the various side effects in addition to the benefits. I had hoped that things would not return to my (menstrual) adolescent nightmares (beginning at age 12 and lasting for several years) – severe pain, vomiting, diarrhea, skin reactions, passing out, missing school, pain medicine… Unfortunately the nightmare did return. And so there I was, years later, hurting, confused, and embarrassed all over again.
Some months were severe, while others were unbearable – the sharp, piercing pains weren’t something I recalled during my adolescent years though – pain yes, but this was different. And at this particular time (still in 2012), I don’t recall being aware of endometriosis, the details that is. I recalled hearing how my paternal grandmother had severe menstrual pain. In addition I noticed that stress and trauma seemed to elevate the pain and suffering, and 2012 was a very heavy year with multiple losses and the grief that accompanied, family situations, a medical scare, job change… It was a lot and taking a toll in more ways than one.
But as with many of us women, particularly those of African descent, we have been inadvertently taught not to discuss certain things, to be strong, to suffer in silence. We make pain look real good as we look good on the outside while we suffer on the inside, as we take care of and encourage everyone else, as we handle business, as we serve here and there, as we smile for the cameras… we make pain look real good. But the effects are staggering. And in the words of James Baldwin, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” But I digress, sort of but not really.
Getting back to the story (because the above mentioned is a whole other article… on its own), I was encouraged to get back on the pill in 2013 but experienced complications. I wished I had never gotten off. Fast forward to 2014. I got married and we relocated to Charlotte, NC. Early one morning I woke up to what I call “the beast”. There I was on the floor, with stabbing pains in my pelvic area, pain in my back, heavy bleeding, vomiting… The look on my husband’s face. After going back and forth to the doctor; after trying various birth control pills and injections; after countless prayers and petitions to God; after learning about endometriosis; after two different God aligned encounters with two real talk and information sharing African American OBGYN doctors, one being a retired doctor out of New York, and at two different social gatherings; and after the prescription strength pain medication stopped working, I underwent surgery in 2018 where endometriosis was diagnosed and treated.
In recent months the pain has lessened, thank God! I have also eliminated and/or cut back on certain foods that cause discomfort and that seem to elevate the pain, am more in tune with the effects of stress, I am continuing to do research, trying natural healing agents and minerals, and am becoming more in tune with my body and my divine womanhood. And while it is said that the exact cause of endometriosis is not yet known (besides being hereditary) and there is currently no cure, I am trusting and believing God for permanent relief and healing for myself and the 1 in 12 women and girls affected by the disorder and life interruption.
In the meantime I am glad to join the ranks of those like Endo Black – those courageously working to bring awareness, education, and encouragement to all those impacted by women’s health related issues including those who are disproportionately affected due to race and socio-economic factors. If you have been diagnosed with endometriosis or suspect you may have it, know that you are more than the pain you face! You are more than your condition! You are more than your struggles! You are so much, so much more!
Kia Lanae Coleman
“We are living art, created to hang on, stand up, forbear, and encourage others.” – Maya Angelou